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New Hot Job in China: “Mistress Discourager”

A new career is recently emerging in China. So-called “third person dissuaders” or “mistress discouragers” specialise in persuading mistresses to step back from their client’s marriage.

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A new career is recently emerging in China. So-called “third person dissuaders” or “mistress discouragers” specialise in persuading mistresses to step back from their client’s marriage, and make an annual salary of approximately one million yuan (157,500 US$).

Saving a marriage does not come cheap. China’s “third person dissuaders” or “mistress discouragers” sometimes charge as high as 250,000 yuan (±40,000 US$) to persuade ‘the third person’ (小三), or  ‘the other woman’, to step back from their clients’ marriage.

The mysterious occupation initially started in the cities of Shanghai, Chengdu, and Shenzhen, but is now spreading throughout China.

The phenomenon was pushed to the forefront during the Second Chinese Marriage and Family Counseling Services Summit (中国婚姻家庭咨询服务行业高峰论坛) on October 10th, and became a hot topic in Chinese media and on social media platforms.

 

“80% of failed marriages have to do with a mistress problem.”

 

According to Shu Xin (舒心), head of the China Association of Marriage and Family (中国婚姻家庭工作联合会), it takes time and money to drill a “third person dissuader”. Training them to become qualified takes at least six months and costs over 300,000 yuan (±47,000 US$) per person.

But the money apparently is worth it, as specialized senior “mistress discouragers” make around one million Chinese yuan per year (around 157,500 US$).

During the Chinese Marriage and Family Summit, it was stated that China’s divorce rate has been on the rise for twelve consecutive years, and in 80% of the cases, the failing of these marriages has to do with a “mistress problem” (小三问题).

At the summit, Shu Xin pleaded for a regulation of the profession and its training, in order to avoid ruining the market.

 

“This shows that more and more people in China are having affairs.”

 

Users on Sina Weibo are also actively engaging in this hot topic. So far the topic “third person dissuader” (#小三劝退师#) has accumulated nearly 6,000 comments with more than 15 million views.

A lot of netizens see it as a weird yet promising career with Chinese characteristics (中国特色). “Demand determines supply. We all know that the common cause of Chinese divorces is marital infidelity. The rise of such a profession shows that more and more people are having affairs now,” Weibo user Tangguoyun says.

A user who calls himself PQ agrees: “The emerging of the ‘third person dissuader’ is the result of market demand.” He goes on to emphasize that the profession faces the risk of violating the law and moral codes: “The process of getting rid of a ‘third person’ might involve monitoring and stalking. It could also cause personal safety issues. That is why specific professional norms should be established by the relevant departments.”

 

“Curing the symptoms, not the disease”

 

The China Association of Marriage and Family called together the relevant professionals this month to develop guide regulations for ‘mistress discouragers’. The association also opened a nationwide complaint hotline to supervise the service quality.

However, the majority of Weibo users still have doubts on this occupation and consider it to only “cure the symptoms, not the disease”.

User Domi says: “Such actions are just a temporary solution. Those who have affairs are not loyal, and have weak self-discipline. Even though the ‘third person’ might be persuaded to leave the love triangle this time, there will be a ‘forth person’ or even ‘fifth person’ in the future.”

 

“Couples should do workshops on how to maintain a healthy marriage.”

 

In most western countries, it is common for couples to go for marriage counselling when they are having relationship problems. But couple’s therapy is not popular in China yet, as most Chinese people do not feel comfortable discussing personal matters in front of a total stranger. Although professional counselling is offered at local Civil Affair Bureau and Divorce Offices, people generally feel ashamed to share such private matters.

Some users on Sina Weibo point out the importance of marriage counselling, and encourage couples with ‘third person’ issues to go into couple’s theory together. “Apart from third party counselling courses, it would be good for couples to do workshops on maintaining a good marriage.” says user ClaraSY.  Until then, mistress discouragers can make a good living out of other people’s love affairs..

By Yiying Fan

©2015 Whatsonweibo. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce our content without permission – you can contact us at info@whatsonweibo.com.

About the author: Yiying Fan is a world traveler and Chinese freelance writer from Shanghai.

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China Society

Death of Chinese Female Motorcycle Influencer ‘Shigao ProMax’ Sparks Debate on Risky Rides for Online Attention

After the tragic death of young motorcyclist ‘Shigao ProMax,’ netizens criticize influencers for reckless riding in pursuit of followers and likes.

Manya Koetse

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A Chinese female motorcyclist from Suzhou, known as “Shigao ProMax” (@石膏ProMax) on Douyin, tragically passed away this week following a motorcycle crash in Suzhou’s Wujiang District.

The incident occurred in the late afternoon of September 29, when the 19-year-old Shigao, whose real name was Yang Huizi (杨惠子), was a passenger on the motorcycle, with her (male) friend driving the vehicle.

As the motorcycle collided with a car emerging from a side intersection, Yang was thrown off the back, propelled several meters through the air before landing on the road. Although she was reportedly wearing a helmet, it cracked during the crash, and she sustained a severe head injury.

A video circulating on social media shows the aftermath of the accident, with the motorcycle driver lying on the road and Yang Huizi a few meters away, initially attempting to crawl before collapsing (warning for graphic content). Despite rescue efforts, she later died in the hospital. The current condition of Yang’s friend, the rider, remains unclear.

Screenshot of the scene of the accident.

Yang had nearly 80,000 fans on Douyin, where she posted her first video in December 2019. By September 2024, she had shared a total of 1,298 videos.

On Weibo, many commenters voiced concern over how the news was headlined, criticizing the emphasis on her gender in the hashtag. The hashtag “Famous Female Rider Shi Gao Dies in Traffic Accident” (#网红女骑士石膏发生车祸身亡#) garnered over 170 million views on Weibo on Tuesday. Many commenters felt the headline made it seem as if the young woman had crashed the motor herself, while she was merely a passenger.

Others, however, see this trending news as an opportunity to highlight the risky behavior of motorcyclists, who not only endanger their own lives by speeding but also jeopardize the safety of others by showing off in traffic and driving recklessly.

Especially female influencers/motorcyclists are criticized for careless driving while flaunting their looks for social media posts.

(See example video here)

Over the past years, the death of multiple motorcycle influencers have made Chinese headlines. In 2022, a popular Douyin influencer and motorcyclist known as “Xiaoyu Loves Eating Fish” (@小鱼爱吃鱼) died in a collision after riding in the wrong lane. She was instantly killed on the spot. Xiaoyu had gained attention for her risky driving behavior, often wearing short skirts, tight leggings, or other revealing outfits instead of proper motorcycle gear.

“Xiaoyu Loves Eating Fish,” images via Tencent News

In 2023, two young girls—one 16 and the other 21—tragically lost their lives after their motorcycle crashed into a pillar. They were speeding and, apart from wearing helmets, were dressed in skirts and stockings with no additional protective gear. Both died instantly. The 16-year-old, known as An’an (安安), was a social media influencer. Her followers had previously warned her about her reckless behavior. She rode a motorcycle without a license.

An’an’s social media profile.

Within one year alone, from October 2022 to September 2023, at least seven motorcycle influencers made headlines in China after losing their lives in traffic accidents. Some bloggers blame the intense competition for online attention for these accidents, as influencers pull dangerous stunts and push the boundaries to gain more likes and followers.

Posting a video of a woman posing for a video while riding a motorcycle, the popular Weibo content creator HuangXiPao (@黄西炮) wrote: “So many female motorcycle influencers have died, yet it doesn’t stop others from still posing on the road for photos! Is this trend really that profitable?”

(See video here)

One commenter expresses frustration over how news about motorcycle influencers consistently reaches the top trending lists, while other serious incidents, such as the big stabbing incident that happened in Shanghai this week, seem to be kept off the hot lists. “Every time a female motorcycle influencer dies, it makes the trending lists. Meanwhile, three people are dead and 18 injured in Shanghai! Yet you’ve completely suppressed the search term (…) What is this about?!”

News about the motorcycle incident is also a reason for official channels to remind netizens about road safety. The official China Police account shared photos of the incident, stating: “Raise safety awareness and take responsibility for your life.”

Also read: What Went Wrong in Suzhou Acrobatic Show? Fatal High-Altitude Fall Triggers Discussions on Safety Measures

By Manya Koetse
(follow on X, LinkedIn, or Instagram)

Spotted a mistake or want to add something? Please let us know in comments below or email us. First-time commenters, please be patient – we will have to manually approve your comment before it appears.

©2024 Whatsonweibo. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce our content without permission – you can contact us at info@whatsonweibo.com.

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China Memes & Viral

Why the “人人人人景点人人人人” Hashtag is Trending Again on Chinese Social Media

China’s Golden Week, from October 1 to October 7, is one of the busiest times of the year for travel and sightseeing, with crowds surging across popular destinations.

Manya Koetse

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China is celebrating its National Day Holiday this week. This week-long holiday, also known as the Golden Week, is a popular time for trips, travel, and sightseeing.

On Chinese social media, it has become somewhat of a tradition to post about just how busy it is at China’s various sightseeing spots. This is often done using hashtags like “人人人人[place]人人人人” or “人人人人[me]人人人人.”

The character 人 (rén) means person or human; “人人” (rénrén) means “everyone,” and the more “人人人” (rén rén rén) are used, the more it playfully emphasizes the crowds of people.

On October 2, the hashtag “人人人人景点人人人人” was top trending, rén rén rén rén jǐngdiǎn rén rén rén rén, which basically means “people, people, people everywhere at the tourist spots, and more people.”

One such crowded place is Suzhou (苏州), where its ancient Shantang Street in the heart of the old town is packed with tourists this week ( #人人人人人苏州人人人人人#).

Crowds in Suzhou, photos posted on Weibo by @数码王小机

Other places like Chongqing, Xi’an, and Hangzhou also saw vast crowds during the various celebratory events and performances organized in these cities.

People also posted photos of the situation in places like the Guangzhou Zoo on October 2nd, or at the Beijing Great Wall, or at the Longmen Grottoes in Luoyang.

Crowds in Luoyang, images by @李旭的散装生物学

Besides the Great Wall in Beijing, other places in the Chinese capital are also seeing large crowds this week, such as Tiananmen, Summer Palace, Forbidden City, Lama Temple, and Nanluoguxiang.

Beijing crowds via @秒观视频

Beijing crowds via @秒观视频

Although China’s domestic spots are drawing massive crowds, China Daily reports that international travel has become more popular again during this year’s week-long National Day holiday, with bookings for international flights doubling compared to the same period last year.

According to the travel platform Qunar, there is increasing demand for new and more niche destinations, including countries in Africa. However, the most popular international destinations remain closer to home, such as Hong Kong, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, Seoul, and Osaka.

Also read: China’s National Holiday Crowds: Even the Desert’s Camels Are Stuck in Traffic

By Manya Koetse
(follow on X, LinkedIn, or Instagram)

Featured image on top: Guangzhou South Station during National Holiday, by @爱打板的乐哥

Spotted a mistake or want to add something? Please let us know in comments below or email us. First-time commenters, please be patient – we will have to manually approve your comment before it appears.

©2024 Whatsonweibo. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce our content without permission – you can contact us at info@whatsonweibo.com.

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What’s on Weibo is run by Manya Koetse (@manyapan), offering independent analysis of social trends in China for over a decade. Subscribe to show your support and gain access to all content, including the Weibo Watch newsletter, providing deeper insights into the China trends that matter.

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