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Chinese Relationship Guru to Women: Put Motherhood On Hold

Do not get pregnant too soon – that is the message of China’s most popular relationship advisor to women on Weibo. The post became an instant hit, igniting online discussions on becoming a mom directly after marriage.

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Do not get pregnant too soon – that is the message of China’s most popular relationship advisor to women on Weibo. The post became an instant hit, igniting online discussions on becoming a mom directly after marriage.

Chinese best-selling author Lu Qi (陆琪), also known as one of the most popular relationship advisors on   Sina Weibo, advises Chinese women on his Weibo account not to have children too quickly after getting married. The post resonated with millions of female Weibo users since it was published on May 10.

In the post, titled “Do Not Become a Mother Too Young” (不要太早当妈), Lu Qi writes about how a young girl from rural China had to give up her dream of studying at the China Academy of Art because she got pregnant. She could have become an artist and live the life of her dreams, but instead, she got married young and had a child at 18 years old. She remained in the small rural town with its narrow-minded community, raising the baby instead of going to university. Lu also illustrates how the dreams of a myriad of other young Chinese women were crushed after being forced by their husbands and parents to have kids.

 

“So many places to explore, so many dreams to pursue.”

 

Lu Qi shared his thoughts with his 21 million followers on Weibo: “I always believe that it’s irresponsible for a woman to have a child unprepared, no matter whether it’s an accident or persuasion. A mother’s love is a woman’s nature, and some people make use of this ‘nature’ to limit and change women – and they usually get what they want, which is horrible.”

Lu Qi adds that he hopes that all girls will understand that motherhood is not about carrying on the family line, or something that parents or husband urge you to do, and also not something that happens by accident. Having and raising a child will change your life for good. Once you are a mother, you have to be responsible and are limited to do what you can do with your life. There are so many places to explore in the world and so many dreams to pursue – why not achieve these goals when you are still young and then having a child when you and your husband are both ready?

6a0efa38842b72de63404460a7966bb4Relationship guru Lu Qi’s Weibo post ‘do not become a mother too young’ has been viewed over 66 million times.

The hashtag #不要太早当妈# (‘do not become a mother too young’) has been viewed over 66 million times on Weibo in the past few days. An ongoing poll shows that 78% Weibo users support the idea of waiting a while before having babies.

Weibo user ‘Small Fox’ cannot agree more with Lu Qi. She replied on his post: “I would have preferred having babies later in life, but my husband and parents-in-law pushed me very hard to become pregnant as soon as possible. I really regretted my decision as all the efforts I’ve made on my career were in vain. I’m not even sure if I’m able to go back to work after my kid goes to kindergarten, and I don’t know what I can do.”

 

“I feel like I’m not living for myself.”

 

“I believe I have the right to say something here, as I’ve already had two kids at age 24,” Weibo user ‘Xiaoshan Niuniu’ writes. She confesses that she would have rather waited a while to have kids if she could choose again: “I feel like I’m not living for myself since I gave birth to my kids. It makes me so sad, especially when my husband leaves the kids alone with me so that he can go out and have fun with his friends. Both husband and wife need to shoulder the responsibility for bringing up the children. However, the society holds the view that the wife is supposed to take care of both the kids and the husband. We also have our own goals and dreams!”

In Chinese culture, women are expected to devote themselves to raising the children and looking after the husband regardless how successful or ambitious they are before tying the knot. In the recent decade, Chinese women increasingly fight for their rights. Female netizens express that it means a lot to them that male icon, Lu Qi, supports them in propagating his message to women: pursue your dreams, working hard for your career, and only become a mother when the time is right.

By Yiying Fan
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©2015 Whatsonweibo. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce our content without permission – you can contact us at info@whatsonweibo.com.

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China Sex & Gender

Girls’ Charity Project Funds Boys Instead: Online Anger over ‘Spring Buds Program’

The ‘Spring Buds’ charity supposedly only focused on helping girls, but it turns out this is not the case.

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A charity fund that was supposedly dedicated to girls’ education in rural China has been found to fund the education of boys, triggering anger online.

The Chinese charity “Spring Buds Program” (春蕾计划), a project meant to advance girls’ education launched by the CCTF (China Children and Teenagers’ Fund 中国儿童少年基金) has come under fire for providing financial aid to schoolboys in China.

The “Spring Buds” project, which falls under the All-China Women’s Federation, has received the China Charity Award in the past for its efforts to promote girls’ education. The program was launched in 1989 to help girls in China’s impoverished rural areas to go to school, improve literacy rates among China’s young girls and women, and empower girls to strengthen their influence in their local communities.

This week, the charity’s focus has come under scrutiny after it became known that of the 1267 students receiving financial aid as part of one of ‘Spring Buds’ scholarship programs, there were 453 male students.

The topic triggered wider online discussions on Chinese social media on gender inequality in China.

Some commenters argued that boys, even in impoverished areas, are generally still better off than girls due to a persisting gender preference for boy children.

Weibo users also pointed out how there are multiple non-gender specific charity programs in China, and that ‘Spring Buds’ is one of the few focused on girls only – arguing that it should thus also really be assisting solely girls.

As the news about ‘Spring Buds’ coincided with this week’s launch of the Global Gender Gap Index report, some Weibo users also wondered why Chinese official media would quote this report and mention Japan’s worsening gender equality, while not mentioning anything about the status quo of gender equality in China.

The CCTF responded to the controversy via their official Weibo account on December 17th, stating that although its program was initially focused solely on girls, this year’s project funding was also allocated to impoverished male students who needed “urgent help.”

The organization further noted that they will be more transparent to charity donors in the future about how their funds are allocated.

Although the hashtag “Anger over Spring Bud Project Subsidizing School Boys” (#春蕾计划资助男生引质疑#) was used on social media by several Chinese media outlets to report the issue, the hashtag page is no longer accessible on Weibo at time of writing.

By Manya Koetse and Miranda Barnes
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Featured image photo by Ray Chan.

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China Celebs

“Living a Nightmare” – Chinese Beauty Guru Yuya Mika Shares Shocking Story of Domestic Abuse

Famous makeup artist Yuya Mika shared her story in a video that has since gone viral on Weibo.

Manya Koetse

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Chinese famous makeup vlogger Yuya Mika has come out and shared her experience of being physically abused by her former boyfriend. Yuya’s story – told in a documentary-style video that is now going viral – does not just raise online awareness about the problem of domestic violence, it also shows the raw realness behind the glamorous facade of China’s KOLs’ social media life.

Fashion and makeup blogger He Yuyong, better knowns as Yuya (宇芽) or Yuya Mika (@宇芽YUYAMIKA), has gone viral on China’s social media platform Weibo for sharing her personal story of suffering domestic abuse at the hands of her ex-partner.

On Monday afternoon, November 25 – which is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women – Yuya, a KOL (Key Opinion Leaders/online influencer) who has over 800,000 followers on her Weibo account, wrote: “I’m a victim of domestic violence. The past six months, I feel like I’ve been living a nightmare. I need to speak up about domestic violence here!”

With her post, Yuya shared a 12-minute documentary-style video in which she tells how she has been abused by her partner of one year, with whom she has now separated.

The short doc does not just tell Yuya’s story, it also features the experiences of her former partner’s ex-wives, who allegedly also suffered domestic violence at his hands.

Besides the shocking accounts of the women, the video contains also footage of Yuya’s ex-boyfriend trying to violently drag her out of an elevator – a moment that was caught on security cameras in August of this year.

Yuya identifies her former boyfriend and abuser as the 44-year-old artist and Weibo blogger ‘Toto River’ (@沱沱的风魔教), who was married three times before starting a relationship with the famous beauty blogger.

The two met each other through social media, and Yuya initially fell for his talent and kindness. But, as she says, his perfect social media image soon turned out to be nothing but a fake facade, and the nightmare began.

The beauty blogger explains that the domestic violence went hand in hand with mental abuse, with Yuya being brainwashed into believing she was lucky to be with a man such as her boyfriend.

As the abuse became a regular occurrence, Yuya tearfully explains how she sometimes could not work for a week because her face was too bruised for shooting videos.

Yuya also writes on Weibo that she shares her story so that the experiences she and her ex-boyfriend’s former wives suffered will not happen to other women, and to warn others from ending up in a similar situation.

Meanwhile, the Weibo account of Yuya’s former boyfriend has been closed for comments.

Yuya Mika is not just popular on Weibo and video ap Tiktok. The beauty guru – famous for doing imitation makeup of celebrities and famous icons such as Mona Lisa – also has over 750k fans on her Instagram account and thousands of subscribers on her YouTube Channel, where she posts makeup tutorials.

Yuya Mika as Mona Lisa.

Yuya is part of the company of Papi Jiang (aka Papi Chan), a Chinese vlogger and comedian who became an internet celebrity in 2016. On Tuesday, the Papi Jiang company also responded to Yuya’s video, saying they fully support the makeup artist in coming forward with her story.

At time of writing, Yuya’s story has been shared over 425,000 times, with a staggering thread of more than 280,000 comments on Weibo.

Many commenters respond in shock that the tearful woman in the video is actually Yuya, as the makeup artist is usually always smiling and shining in front of the camera. Other Weibo users express their hopes that Yuya’s ex-boyfriend will be punished for what he did.

With over 160 million views, the hashtag “Yuya Suffers Domestic Abuse” (#宇芽被家暴#) is now in the top five of most-discussed topics on Weibo.

Over the past few years, the issue of domestic violence has received more attention on Chinese social media, especially since China’s first national law against domestic violence came into effect on March 1, 2016. More women have come forward on Chinese social media to share their personal experiences with domestic abuse.

According to Chinese media reports of Tuesday afternoon, local authorities are currently investigating Yuya’s story.

By Manya Koetse, with contributions from Miranda Barnes
Follow @whatsonweibo

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