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The Problem of Rising Bride Prices in China’s Bare Branch Villages

You found the ideal future spouse, but you can’t afford to marry her – this is an increasingly common problem in China’s so-called ‘bare branch villages. Our latest weivlog on this trending topic.

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Within a timeframe of 17 years, bride prices in China’s rural areas have increased more than sixty-fold. For many unmarried men in relatively poor provinces such as Gansu, marriage has now become an unattainable goal.

You found the ideal future spouse, but you can’t afford to marry her – this is an increasingly common problem in China’s so-called ‘bare branch villages’ (光棍村), where thousands of unmarried men are in desperate search of a wife, but cannot come up with the staggering bride prices needed in order to marry the few eligible single village women.

The topic of the bride prices in ‘bare branch villages’ (光棍村) became trending on Weibo on February 15, as Chinese news outlet Kanka News reported the extreme marriage market situation in a village near Qingyang, Gansu.

According to the report, some village men had been unsuccessfully trying to find a wife for 18 years. But the shortage of women in their area and the year-on-year increase of bride prices have made their pursuit extremely difficult.

A 24-year-old man from the Jiao village in Gansu told Kanka News that in the 7 years he has been searching to find a wife, he only once reached the stage of actually negotiating the bride price. But when the bride’s family asked for 180.000 RMB (±26.000$) and he could only afford 120.000 (±17.400$), the marriage plans were canceled.

“Isn’t it time to rethink things when marriages are becoming similar to auctions?”, some commenters said on Weibo.

“It’s scary to think how many gender-based abortions took place in these villages years ago, and now there’s this problem,” other netizens responded.

Many Weibo users think that the difficulties facing young male villagers today is a direct result of what happened after the implementation of the One Child Policy and sex-selective abortions.

“This is what it means when they say what goes around, comes around,” some say.

See more about this topic in our latest weivlog .

– By Manya Koetse
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Sources and Further Reading

Kanka News (in Chinese) http://www.kankanews.com/a/2017-02-14/0037879989.shtml
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©2017 Whatsonweibo. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce our content without permission – you can contact us at info@whatsonweibo.com

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Manya Koetse is the editor-in-chief of www.whatsonweibo.com. She is a writer and consultant (Sinologist, MPhil) on social trends in China, with a focus on social media and digital developments, popular culture, and gender issues. Contact at manya@whatsonweibo.com, or follow on Twitter.

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China Digital

Weibo’s Digital Graveyard: Remembering the Dead on Chinese Social Media

‘The Dead’ honors the deceased and tries to break existing taboos on death in China.

Brydon Brancart

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With China’s rapid digitalization and flourishing online media environment, there’s one crucial societal topic that, although taboo, also now finds its place on Chinese social media: this Weibo account collects the stories of the dead and writes their online eulogies. In doing so, they are trying to break longstanding taboos around death in China.

“My grandmother passed away due to illness in 2016. She was 78 years old. My grandmother was a kind soul. She married my grandfather after his divorce. They had never even seen each other before [her] mother and father prepared the marriage, and yet she lovingly cared for him her entire life.” This eulogy was posted on Weibo on February 12th of this year.

Within hours after it was posted, over 100 people had replied with the most popular emoji for these type of posts: the candle.

Since 2011, thousands of these kinds of posts have appeared on Weibo, one of China’s biggest microblogs, thanks to “The Dead” (@逝者如斯夫dead), an account run by a small team dedicated to memorializing the deceased. Through their online memorials, they have encouraged conversation of a taboo topic.

 

HUNTING FOR THE DEAD ON WEIBO

“We wanted to provide a place for people to remember those who had passed away”

 

Starting small, ‘The Dead,’ which borrows its Chinese name from the Confucian phrase “All passes like a river” (逝者如斯夫 Shì zhě rú sī fū), has amassed over half a million followers. “We wanted to provide a place for people to remember those who had passed away,” a team member recently explained to What’s on Weibo.

Weibo users typically contact the account requesting eulogies about their deceased loved one, but such direct requests were rare just a few years ago. Instead, the account started by hunting for the dead among Weibo’s pages. They searched for signs of a user’s passing, like comments about mourning, and then monitoring the account for inactivity.

‘The Dead’ told What’s on Weibo that “while at present most of our information comes from Weibo users,” its team will still “go through the deceased’s page…looking through comments in the discussion section and asking about the user’s current condition” to confirm a death and glean facts for a memorial posting.

Few of its half a million followers personally know the people in the obituaries. But their reaction to its eulogies reveals a deep and often emotional connection to the topic of death.

“Every now and then I go to their page and scroll through the memorials,” one follower writes: “Those people, who were so full of life, passed away just like that. It’s so moving that sometimes I scroll until my eyes fill with tears.”

Another follower comments: “Whenever I’m feeling low I go and scroll through [the page], it always calms me down. I’ve been very inspired by it, thank you.” For many Chinese, such an open discussion of death would have been unthinkable in the past.

 

DEATH AS TABOO

“This taboo has an independent power in shaping human action”

 

Every culture confronts death differently and few do it well. Traditional Chinese culture shunned discussions of death, notes Cheris Shun-Ching Chan, professor of sociology at Hong Kong University.

Chan believes that Confucian silence on questions of death and folk Buddhist references to “a dark world (yinjian) and a cruel hell (diyue)” account for the topic’s avoidance. She also points to fears that a premature death could mark the end of one’s lineage (Chan 2012,37).

Chan’s survey research found that avoidance of any discussion about death was so widespread that it had become taboo. “The taboo manifests as an observable avoidance of the topic,” Chan writes, “particularly unexpected, accidental, or premature death, among not only the elderly but also the generation in their late 20s and 30s” (Chan 2012,36).

While religious belief waned during the tumult of the 20th century, the taboo persisted. “Today, this taboo has an independent power in shaping human action,” Chan argues: “In other words, one does not need to hold beliefs about hell, the dark world, ghosts, evils, and precipitating death in order to observe the taboo” (2012,38-40).

Stifling discussion about death has consequences, big and small. Individuals unwilling to acknowledge death are reluctant to write wills or register as organ donors. Respecting the death taboo, doctors avoid delivering a terminal diagnosis to patients, informing family members instead.

One news story from 1993 exemplifies this taboo on death; when residents near China’s first hospice care center protested the presence of death in their neighborhood, matters turned violent. They started shattering the center’s windows, driving doctors and their patients from the center in the middle of the night. As the health needs of China’s population evolves with its economic growth, the death taboo threatens much more.

In a rapidly aging China, people live longer and deaths cost more than ever before. The World Health Organization reports that eight of the top ten causes of death in China are now due to non-communicable diseases.

As deaths caused by accidents and communicable diseases have dropped, death by stroke, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, and cancer have jumped double digits and with that jump, a commensurate increase in the costly treatments of these diseases.

A 2013 study of the cost of non-communicable disease on the Chinese economy predicted that between 2012-2030, China will spend 27.6 trillion dollars remedying non-communicable disease. The death taboo threatens to leave China unprepared to care for a population living longer thanks to better medical care but dying at higher rates of chronic illness.

Health care in China is free, to a point. According to the Economist, China’s national health-insurance system caps reimbursements for treatment of serious chronic illness like heart disease and end of life care. The death taboo poses a risk to families in a country where it is still considered unfilial by many to pursue a course of treatment other than one meant to cure the patient.

Hospice care, which should be cheaper, is rarely considered and seldom available. While hospice care is now part of the standard course of treatment for end of life care in EU and North America, the death taboo undermines demand for the service. This, in turn, removes pressure on medical insurers to provide hospice coverage. Insurance coverage for hospice care is so limited that families are forced to pay out of pocket for most hospice care.

 

ADDRESSING DEATH

“Everyone ought to admit death’s existence and face up to its realities”

 

Addressing these challenges starts with acknowledging death as a part of life. “People have slowly become more willing to discuss death,” the Weibo ‘The Dead’ team observes: “You can see this in Weibo users openly posting about the passing of loved ones.”

Beyond Weibo, the account’s rejection of the death taboo has also found powerful allies elsewhere. In Beijing, Chen Yi and Luo Ruiqing, children of prominent CCP members, launched the Beijing Living Will Promotion Association, advocating for individuals and families to openly discuss and plan for end of life care.

Yi and Ruiqing explain to Caixin that watching the slow and painful death of their parents with few options for palliative care moved them to take action.

Their website provides information to help individuals decide about the kind of end of life care they want and how to ensure their wishes are followed through the use of a living will, a standard feature of Western health care but new to China.

In Shanghai, Wang Ying, a psychologist who now specializes in end-of-life, is taking a different approach to addressing the same problem. Ying founded Hand in Hand, an organization that encourages individuals to openly discuss their deaths as a form of preparation.

Like Yi and Ruiqing, Ying’s determination to challenge the death taboo stemmed from her conviction that repressing a discussion about end of life care and death causes his elder relatives needless suffering at the end of their lives.

Noting the rising interest in their Weibo account, ‘The Dead’ has recently started a Wechat mini app where users can send manage their own memorials and share them with others. The team believes that Weibo and Wechat allow them to reach out to a large audience all over the country.

They admit, however, that problems of economic disparity have limited their reach, and guess that most of their subjects and contributors are urban dwellers. Still, they are hopeful that their work can help change many people’s perspectives.

“Everyone ought to admit death’s existence and face up to its realities,” they say: “Working hard to live with an understanding of death is a lesson every Chinese person must learn.”

By Brydon Brancart

References (other sources in-text through hyperlinks)

Chan, Cheris Shun-Ching. 2012. Marketing Death: Culture and the Making of a Life Insurance Market in China. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Spotted a mistake or want to add something? Please let us know in comments below or email us.

©2019 Whatsonweibo. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce our content without permission – you can contact us at info@whatsonweibo.com.

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China Insight

Chinese Netizens Discuss: “Do You Say ‘Thank You’ to the Food Delivery Man?”

To say thank you or not to say thank you, that’s the question.

Gabi Verberg

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Image via http://m.uczzd.cn.

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For many people in China’s urban areas, the food delivery people have become part of their day to day lives, but does that mean that you are supposed to thank them, or not?

There are not too many people whose dream job it is to work long shifts, going out in hot summers and cold winters, to make sure people get the food they ordered as fast as possible. Nevertheless, there are a few million Chinese on the road every day, going through congested traffic and bad weather, to deliver customer orders on time. It should be enough to receive a simple ‘thank you,’ but Chinese netizens do not seem to agree on the subject.

Recently, the topic of whether or not to thank the food delivery person for delivering an order became a trending topic on Chinese social media platform Weibo, where the hashtag “Do We Need to Thank the Delivery Man” (#该不该跟外卖员说谢谢#) generated over 430 million views and triggered nearly 110.0000 reactions.

The discussions started because of a post by Weibo-user Lanxi (阑夕), who publicly responded to the 2018 annual courier employment report by Meituan (2018外卖骑手就业报告). Meituan Dianping is a major Chinese food delivery service, that has some 380 million users. On his Weibo account, Lanxi wrote:

At the end of the year, Meituan sent a questionnaire to 120.000 of its couriers, asking them what they would want to say to their customers. The three things that scored highest were: (1) Please answer your phone in time, (2) please provide the accurate delivery address, (3) please say thank you when accepting the delivery.”[1]

The post continued with Lanxi writing that he also had something to say to the food delivery man: (1) Please don’t spill soup in my delivery bag. (2) Please don’t spill soup in my delivery bag. (3) Please don’t spill soup in my delivery bag.”

The “thank you debate” soon blew up on social media, with many commenters arguing that saying ‘thank you’ is just basic manners.

One popular reaction on Weibo read: “We should respect every profession. Thanking somebody won’t kill you, it just shows you have good manners.” Another typical comment on Weibo said: “Saying thank you is not an obligation, saying thank you is the way I was brought up.”

But there were also many commenters who feel that personally thanking the deliverymen is unnecessary, arguing that customers pay for this service and that it is their duty to deliver the food (on time), not a favor they are doing you.

“I am paying the deliveryman, so what do I have to thank him or her for? You don’t thank your boss every time you get your salary, do you?”, one Weibo user responded.

“I’d be willing to say thank you,” another commenter wrote: “But not if you tell me to say thank you.”

“My brother always says ‘thank you’ to them, but I don’t. I feel like they are just completing their job, and I don’t feel like interacting with them.”

Other commenters say it depends on the attitude and service of the delivery person; if the delivered soup has been spilled, or if they are very late in delivering, they feel they do not need to thank them.

Being a delivery person is not an easy job. In the past couple of months, two stories of Chinese deliverymen struggling on the job went viral. In one case, a delivery man was filmed being in tears in a shopping mall after an order was canceled for which he had waited for an hour.

In another story, a young delivery guy was caught crying in the pouring rain for over 20 minutes, until an old men came up to him and offered him an umbrella. The young man had allegedly discovered a package was stolen from his delivery cart.

These stories usually lead to online discussions in which people urge others to treat deliverymen with more respect.

In recent years, the Chinese food delivery market has seen staggering growth, with Meituan Waimai (美团外卖) and Ele.me (饿了么) being market leaders. In 2018, Meituan alone employed over 2.7 million food delivery staff, half a million more than the year before.

“It’s just two characters: xie xie [谢谢],” one commenter says about saying ‘thank you’: “What’s the problem with saying them?!”

By Gabi Verberg

[1] After the discussion blew up on social media, the Meituan research report was further inspected by netizens. In the report, it says that the delivery staff’s wish that customers would say “thank you” actually comes in the 8th place of surveyed wishes, not in the third place.

Spotted a mistake or want to add something? Please let us know in comments below or email us.

©2019 Whatsonweibo. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce our content without permission – you can contact us at info@whatsonweibo.com

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What’s on Weibo provides social, cultural & historical insights into an ever-changing China. What’s on Weibo sheds light on China’s digital media landscape and brings the story behind the hashtag. This independent news site is managed by sinologist Manya Koetse. Contact info@whatsonweibo.com. ©2014-2018

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